posted Feb 6, 2012 2:22 PM by James Strickland
Dear Parents, I wanted to share a tool with you that can help reinforce principles taught on Sunday Morning to Grades 7-8 in our FIRE Academy (Sunday School Classes). Each unit provides a discussion guide for parents to use with their children. Feel free to use this as you see fit. Thank you for partnering with us to build God's kingdom through your families.
In Him,
James
KNOWN is a curriculum written by Lifeway Publishing that strives to teach biblical truth to teenagers and their families. If you have ever asked your child, what did you learn today at church, more often you get an “I don’t know” or “We talked about Jesus”.
Use the following information and questions to reinforce the truths of this month of Bible study at home. Use one or two of the discussion starters to begin a conversation. Look for teachable moments—at home, in the car, or at a game. Pray and ask God to provide you opportunities to have spiritual conversations with your teenager(s).
Note: There is a free KNOWN Parent Podcast available at www.lifeway.com/known—just follow the podcast link. You can subscribe to the podcast for free or just listen online.
Session 1 - Pure Living / February 5, 2012 (1 Peter 1:15-16; Proverbs 20:11; 1 Timothy 4:12) Holman Christian Standard Bible (HCSB) - (1 Peter 1:15-16) 15 But as the One who called you is holy, you also are to be holy in all your conduct; 16 for it is written, Be holy, because I am holy.
- (Proverbs 20:11) 11 Even a young man is known by his actions— if his behavior is pure and upright.
- (1 Timothy 4:12) 12 Let no one despise your youth; instead, you should be an example to the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity.
THE QUESTION: Why should I be concerned about living pure?
THE POINT: You are called to live a holy life.
DISCUSSION STARTERS- Would you eat brownies that had dirt baked in them? Why or why not?
- Is it possible to live a pure life in today’s world? Why or why not?
- What does it mean to live a holy life?
- In what ways is living a life of purity a testimony to others?
- What would others say about your purity by the way you act?
- How can a teenager be an example to others in the way they live?
- How does living a pure life set an example?
Session 2 - Pure Loving / February 12, 2012 (1 Corinthians 6:12-20) Holman Christian Standard Bible (HCSB)
12 “Everything is permissible for me,” but not everything is helpful. “Everything is permissible for me,” but I will not be brought under the control of anything. 13 “Food for the stomach and the stomach for food,” but God will do away with both of them. The body is not for sexual immorality but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. 14 God raised up the Lord and will also raise us up by His power. 15 Don’t you know that your bodies are a part of Christ’s Body? So should I take a part of Christ’s body and make it part of a prostitute? Absolutely not! 16 Don’t you know that anyone joined to a prostitute is one body with her? For Scripture says, The two will become one flesh. 17 But anyone joined to the Lord is one spirit with Him. 18 Run from sexual immorality! “Every sin a person can commit is outside the body.” On the contrary, the person who is sexually immoral sins against his own body. 19 Don’t you know that your body is a sanctuary of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, 20 for you were bought at a price. Therefore glorify God in your body.
THE QUESTION: Why should I keep my body sexually pure?
THE POINT: Honor God with your body.
DISCUSSION STARTERS- What do students at your school think of being sexually pure?
- Why is it so difficult for teenagers today to be sexually pure?
- Why does God call us to live sexually pure lives?
- What does it mean that our bodies are a part of Christ’s body?
- In what ways can sexual sin affect you for the rest of your life?
- In what ways is your body the temple of God?
Session 3 - Pure Speaking / February 19, 2012 (Proverbs 18:21; Matthew 12:33-37) Holman Christian Standard Bible (HCSB) - (Proverbs 18:21) 21 Life and death are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.
- (Matthew 12:33-37) 33 “Either make the tree good and its fruit good, or make the tree bad[a] and its fruit bad; for a tree is known by its fruit. 34 Brood of vipers! How can you speak good things when you are evil? For the mouth speaks from the overflow of the heart. 35 A good man produces good things from his storeroom of good,[b] and an evil man produces evil things from his storeroom of evil. 36 I tell you that on the day of judgment people will have to account for every careless word they speak.[c] 37 For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned.”
THE QUESTION: Why is it important to keep my speech pure?
THE POINT: Your words have influence.
DISCUSSION STARTERS- How much foul language do you hear each day at school? In what ways does it bother you?
- What are some other ways speech is used impurely?
- Why are the words we speak so powerful?
- What did the Bible mean when it says that our words have the power of life or death?
- How are words a reflection of what is in your heart?
- Does it give you any encouragement to keep your speech pure knowing that God is going to hold you accountable for your speech one day? Why or why not?
- What would Jesus say about your words today?
Session 4 - Pure Thinking / February 26, 2012 Colossians 3:1-4; Philippians 4:8; 2 Corinthians 10:3-5 Holman Christian Standard Bible (HCSB) - (Colossians 3:1-4) 1 So if you have been raised with the Messiah, seek what is above, where the Messiah is, seated at the right hand of God. 2 Set your minds on what is above, not on what is on the earth. 3 For you have died, and your life is hidden with the Messiah in God. 4 When the Messiah, who is your life, is revealed, then you also will be revealed with Him in glory.
- (Philippians 4:8) 8 Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable—if there is any moral excellence and if there is any praise—dwell on these things.
- (2 Corinthians 10:3-5) 3 For though we live in the body, we do not wage war in an unspiritual way, 4 since the weapons of our warfare are not worldly, but are powerful through God for the demolition of strongholds. We demolish arguments 5 and every high-minded thing that is raised up against the knowledge of God, taking every thought captive to obey Christ.
THE QUESTION: How do I keep my thoughts pure?
THE POINT: Guard your mind.
DISCUSSION STARTERS- What would you say you spend the majority of your time thinking about?
- When would you say you are most vulnerable to thinking impure thoughts?
- What does it mean to think about the things of God?
- What are some things you can do each day to make sure you choose to think about the right things?
- What does it mean to give control of your thoughts to Jesus?
- What are some practical things you can do to guard your thoughts?
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posted Dec 6, 2011 11:59 AM by James Strickland
So your kids finally friended you on Facebook. Congratulations — you now have mind-blowing inside access to their online worlds. Now what? Step 1: Don't embarrass them! How? By avoiding the top 11 mistakes parents make on Facebook. Avoid them like the plague. You'll keep the peace with your tween or teen — and hopefully, your coveted friend status, too.
- Don't over-share. Do all 1,200 of your son's friends need to know that he still sucks his thumb at night or that he bombed his driving test? No and no! If you think a wall comment will embarrass your child, it will. If you don't have anything nice to say... hold back. Respect your children's privacy online and off. It shows them you care. It also teaches them to respect their own privacy.
- Realize that everyone sees your comments. Tread lightly and always remember that all of your children's Facebook friends can view every single comment you oh-so-lovingly post on their walls. That includes their BFFs, classmates, and (potentially) employers and teachers. Communicating on Facebook is anything but a private affair.
- Don't pry. It's okay to casually ask your kid how he's doing on his wall — but only once in a long while. Not every day or even every week, and certainly not every hour. I'm a 36-year-old mom of three, and it would even embarrass me if my parents bugged me too often on Facebook. Thankfully they don't, but that doesn't mean they don't stalk my wall anyway. (Ahem, mentioning my status updates during phone conversations is a dead giveaway.)
- Don't get too personal. Some topics are never okay to bring up on your teen's wall, like why the heck did they dump their significant other or if that fancy acne cream you bought them is clearing things up. Ask sensitive parent-child questions in person, in email, or via text or private Facebook message instead. Model the restraint you want them to have.
Sometimes you'll get lucky, and the answers to your questions will already be on your child's wall anyway, thanks to status updates and Place check-ins flowing in every two minutes.
- Don't tag your child in photos. Not even the adorable brace-face ones — at least not without asking if it's okay first. Save those gems for Awkward Family Photos! Er, we mean, skip tagging altogether, and give tweens and teens a chance to forge their own identity online. Each pic you tag with her name — even those drooly baby pics — automagically appears in their profiles. Besides, you don't want anyone to snag those precious baby photos and then pretend your kid is theirs.
- Never assume your kid can chat just because he or she is logged in. If your daughter doesn't reply to your Facebook chat request right away, she either forgot to log out, stepped away from the laptop, or — brace yourself — might not even feel like chatting with you.
Try not to take it personally. All three of my teenaged babysitters prefer not to chat with their parents on Facebook (or anywhere online) at all, "like ever." Texts and Facetime do the trick, they say.
- Never, ever reply to comments for your kids. They cringe when you speak on their behalf in person. Why would you do it on Facebook? Even if you're dying to tell your daughter's friends that yes, she did get into Harvard, it's best to let your teen toot her own horn.
- Don't nag kids to do their chores. It's not cool to remind them to scrub the toilet, fold the laundry, or take care of just about any other task right there on their walls for everyone to see (and laugh at). You'll only tick kids off. And, more importantly, you'll waste precious time you could spend nagging them in person.
- Don't stalk their significant others. This starts with not friending said person in the first place. But if for some reason you are Facebook friends, don't comment on his or her wall. It mortifies your teen and makes you look meddlesome. However, that doesn't mean you can't peek around their Info page, though, hint, hint.
- Don't chide or punish them. "You're grounded, mister!" is probably the last comment any kid wants littering their wall. Sure, disciplining kids via Facebook makes them feel worse about whatever it is they did, but admonishing your kids in such a public way erodes their trust in you. You'll also miss out on a valuable opportunity to talk to them in person about their behavior and what they should do to make it right.
- Don't Like too much. Don't Like every picture, status update, comment, or link your teen posts. In fact, don't Like much at all. Sure, everyone likes a virtual pat here and there, but don't go overboard — not when your future adults are forging their own identities online, and, like it or not, asserting their independence from you..
Friends and familyIt's a good sign if your tween or teen friends you on Facebook. Think of it as a testament to your child's maturity and self-control. (Or did you make them friend you?)
"Kids who (voluntarily) friend their parents get the concept of discretion and public persona," says Ariel Wiggens, a 20-year-old Starbucks barista from Long Beach, Calif. She's been of Facebook since she was a teenager.
"Unlike a lot of people in my generation and younger, I know when to draw the line between what's private and what's not," she says. "And I'm glad my parents do, too, especially in front of everyone online."
Be a good friend Just like you tell your kid, knowing the rules isn't enough. Following them is. The same goes for Facebook. If you forget all the above don'ts, just follow the Golden Rule. Be considerate and always treat your kids how you want to be treated on Facebook.
When in doubt, leave it out. Just say no to TMI. When you do, your little Facebook addict might actually think you're cool after all. Not that he'd actually say so... at least not on his wall, anyway.
Safe social surfing |
posted Oct 20, 2011 12:39 PM by James Strickland
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updated Oct 20, 2011 12:44 PM
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Being a parent is one of life’s most challenging roles. I thought I knew it all before my wife and I had children of our own. Now that we have two teen daughters, I realize I know nothing about parenting. Actually, that’s a little overstated. I have learned a thing of two about parenting over the years. I’ve just learned a lot of it the hard way. The best parenting advice I’ve found comes from the Bible – specifically Deuteronomy 6. This passage provides a solid approach to parenting:
Listen, Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD Is One. Love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength. These words that I am giving to you today are to be in your heart. Repeat them to your children. Talk about them when you sit in your house and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Bind them as a sign on your hand and let them be a symbol on your forehead. Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates. (Deut. 6:4-9).
Walking and Talking:
Parents are intended to be the primary developers of their children. That means providing for your teen’s physical, emotional, and spiritual needs. It also means using every opportunity that you can to talk with them about loving God. Parents can’t be the primary spiritual developer of their kids without investing time in them. If biblical parenting involves teaching as you’re sitting, walking, lying down, and getting up, then parents and kids have to be together. If the Bible says teaching happens in the normal course of life, our course of life may need to be modified.
How Jesus Grew:
Ever wonder what Jesus was like as a child and teen? Luke 2:52 gives us a glimpse. It also provides a great framework for our kids’ development. Based on this passage, here are the three areas in which we must help our children develop:
- Favor with God: We want them to know God in a very real way. We want them to go beyond just knowing about Him to building a personal relationship with Him.
- Wisdom and stature: We want our kids to own their faith. We want them to experience God in their everyday lives and recognize who they are in Christ.
- Favor with man: We want our kids to make their faith known. One of the coolest things parents can experience is seeing their kids share Christ through the influence and relationships they build.
Step by Step:
So what can you do to create a new normal as the primary spiritual developer of your kids? Here are some ideas:
- Decide you will make your teen’s spiritual development your primary task. Seems basic, but unless you commit to this, it won’t happen.
- Don’t try to be a super Christian. Just model that you know God, own your faith, and make your faith known.
- Start small. Choose one day a week to eat dinner together and do a short devotional as a family. (LifeWay provides a free online devotional that is delivered by email twice a week. You can sign up to receive the Heart Connex Enews Devotional at www.lifeway.com/heartconnex.)
- Pray for your kids every day. Pray that they will know God, own their faith, and make their faith known
- Be involved in your kids’ church activities. Don’t expect your youth ministry team to be the primary spiritual developer of your kid.
You will not create your new normal in a single day. The key is starting with a few actions that matter most – and being consistent. Let your kids hear you talk about God and what He is doing in your life. Let them hear you pray. Let them see and hear you share your story of His work in your life.
God has entrusted us enough to loan us our children and has also established a strong pattern for parenting in Deuteronomy 6. Accept His challenge. Help your kids know God, own their faith, and make their faith known. Future generations, including your grandchildren will be impacted by your children’s strong faith.
Paul Turner and his wife Sondra have two teen daughters, Shelbi and Morgan. In addition to his ministry to youth leaders across the country, Paul can usually be found training for a marathon. |
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